I would like to share just a few of the ways I’ve sucked in recent weeks, taken straight from my official Suckage Journal:
- I felt lost in the middle of teaching a class and didn’t know what I was doing
- I was late sending out my homework assignments for the teacher training I lead
- I am completely avoiding a health insurance form I’m supposed to fill out
- I stayed up too late watching Girls and was exhausted the next day
- I wasn’t available for my weekly call with my little brother
- I ate way too much cheese and my belly hurt
Now, these might seem like minor offenses in the great grand world of ways that one can suck and I have certainly committed MUCH worse offenses. But I want to talk to you about the power of admitting you suck, instead of excusing your sucky behavior – both small and large.
Taking Your Power Back
Recently when I said to a friend, “I totally suck because I sent an audio meditation to a student a day late” he immediately jumped in and said “that’s okay, don’t be so hard on yourself – you’re so busy.”
I understand that he was trying to make me feel better, but it actually doesn’t feel better to excuse my own suckiness. It actually causes me to miss out on the lesson that the sucky feeling presents – thereby compounding my own suckiness.
For instance, if instead of excusing your sucky choice, you locate the dishonored value in it, you regain your own inner authority and reclaim the possibility of a better choice next time.
- I felt lost in the middle of teaching a class and didn’t know what I was doing. VALUE: I love to teach from an inspired place so students feel the momentum of the class and feel safe in my hands.
- I was late sending out my homework assignments for the teacher training I lead. VALUE: I like to be prompt and reliable as a teacher trainer so the students feel secure.
- I am completely avoiding a health insurance form I’m supposed to fill out. VALUE: I don’t like to waste my time thinking about paperwork, so I prefer to take care of it right away so I can think about more interesting things.
- I stayed up too late watching Girls and was exhausted the next day. VALUE: I love to feel fresh and motivated in the morning. When I stay up late watching TV I ALWAYS regret it because it undermines my productivity and joy the next day.
- I wasn’t available for my weekly call with my little brother. VALUE: Staying connected to my immediate family is what gives my life real meaning. Especially my new regular contact with my brother. He’s important to me. I never want to miss it.
- I ate way too much cheese and my belly hurt. VALUE: I like to feel light and healthy. I don’t like to eat food just because it’s in front of me. Plus I’m loving being mostly vegan and avoiding animal products altogether.
By admitting your suckiness, then acknowledging your dishonored value, you get to take back control of your choices and make the choice that will bring you more happiness next time. If I had just excused these things, I would perpetuate my own sucky behavior and my own bummed out results.
You feel me?
So instead of taking those bummed out feelings and trying to force them into the shape of a placid smile, next time try out saying outright and out loud “I SUCK” and then tapping into the missed value beneath the behavior.
You’ll probably discover that feeling like you suck has never felt so good.
(photo: Edu Lauton/unsplash)