(originally posted in newsletter Oct 4th,  2019)

It’s not quite dawn and I am writing this from the woods in northern Minnesota, sitting at the dinette in the Scamp.

Outside the light is soft gray and the squirrels are starting to chat in the trees above. The forest is dressed in yellow, orange, red and pale green leaves.

It did strike me, as I was driving away from the Scamp factory on Tuesday, and looked in the rear-view mirror to see this little camper bumping along behind me, that this is happening.

It has been just an idea for so long, and there is something vaporous about an idea. But when it is shaped into a plan it can, strangely, become reality.

The idea started as wanting to move to the desert for a while… then the search for where and how morphed into the idea of an RV. Then that shifted to the camper when I really studied my RV options (which were expensive or unreliable).

Now the idea is surrounding me with its egg-shaped fiberglass walls coated in “rat fur” (that’s what they call the wall carpeting in these things).

Anyway, I wanted to tell you about my first week on the road.

Overall, it has been wonderful.

Last Saturday was my first day driving away from Vermont. I stopped at my little bro’s house in Northern VT on my way and he put together a first aid kit for me, and his wife Kat made a little cake, and their 2-yr-old Jane sat on my lap for a bit.

Then I crossed the border because going through Canada was the fastest way to Ann Arbor, where I was spending my first night. That 12-hour drive across Canada it was drizzling and overcast and as I pressed on the accelerator I had such a terrific feeling of FREEDOM.

Yes, it was the freedom of facing the open road. But it was a bigger freedom than that.

It was the freedom of choosing which reality I want to live in, and being able to change the game. It was the freedom of not being at the mercy of beliefs that don’t feel true, not adhering to a world that doesn’t fit the animal that I am.

The facts are, I’m a woman in my late 30s and I may not have kids. I may not get married. I may not “settle down” in the way so many assume I should/would… at least not on the timeline that is prescribed – I’m already well past that.

Am I capable of doing all those things? Of course! More than capable. I’ve heard so many people say “but you’d be an amazing mother!” You’re right, I would be. But that doesn’t mean I’m called to do it.

It has taken some real diligence to parse out what mainstream society projects I should desire from how I actually thrive. Honestly, it is what I call “riding my rocket” – regularly creating and putting out original works and ideas – that has kept me from falling into the trance of “shoulds.”

Shifting gears from the shoulds to the truth of what turns me on is utterly exhilarating.

Gosh, there is so much more I want to share – I want to tell you what it’s really like to be living in a little camper. I want to describe the daily tasks and logistics. I want to give you a glimpse into how living like this makes for mindfulness all over the place.

But I think this note is long enough and I’ve got to get on the road and drive south today.

So, for now, I’ll just leave you with this question:

What do you do, regularly in daily life, because you have been told it would/should make you happy, but have found out that it actually doesn’t?

Where are you called in a strangely different direction?

 

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