Last Monday I signed a lease for a Los Angeles apartment.
It’s on the top floor of a 1940s building, with plenty of sky streaming through big windows.
The layout lends itself to creativity and connection – one space flowing into the next.
When I saw the apartment, even though it was being renovated and in a torn up state, something inside me said, Ahhh, yes… this will be a safe, inspired place for the next phase…
Emphasis on safe.
I almost took a different apartment, the home of an actress who was headed to Europe for several months. It was big and breezy and lovely, but something about it gave me pause… it didn’t feel safe.
It was on the second floor of a small building. The entryway wasn’t secure. The back staircase was easy to break into. There was a low roof right outside the bedroom where someone could climb up and get through the window.
I almost said yes because it was a beautiful home and she was a sweet woman, but when I meditated on what my body had to say, I heard NOOOOO… Ariel you can’t expand there!
It just didn’t feel safe.
Did I think something ‘bad’ would happen if I lived there? Not really. But feeling safe makes a huge impact on how we live our lives.
When you don’t feel safe, you are shy to share the truth of the truth and nervous to expand.
When you don’t feel safe, you’ve got to keep your wings tucked in.
Many men have a hard time understanding what it’s like to be in a woman’s body when it comes to safety.
I recall an amazing joke from an old Dave Chappelle skit (maybe the ‘Killing Me Softly’ special?).
He was talking about transporting a large quantity of cocaine in a backpack on the subway from downtown to uptown.
Knowing this bag of cocaine worth gobs of money was parked at the bottom of his backpack, he was terrified. He was a nervous wreck that someone would attack him to steal it.
Then he said (paraphrasing), I suddenly knew what it was like to have a pussy!
Yup. Just being in this female body and trying to get from point A to point B can bring up a very real fear of being harassed or attacked.
And this is often what keeps women ‘playing small’.
When you begin to use your voice, people are drawn toward you. When you start spreading your wings, you attract more attention. You become visible.
And visible means vulnerable.
However, this need for safety applies to all of us humans, just in different ways. Sometimes the “attack” is emotional as opposed to physical.
For example, if you feel unsafe because your family, friend circle, or colleagues might criticize or reject you – same/same.
You ain’t gonna go bigger.
A feeling of safety is the necessary basis for expansion.
Physical, emotional, energetic – you’ve gotta feel safe to become more really, truly You.
Because you WILL attract attention by being authentically expressive. It’s the most wonderfully magnetic thing!
As such, my most recent “Let’s Breathe Together” virtual class is themed SAFETY.
We practiced sensing and trusting our instincts, so you can make a plan when you don’t feel safe.
We did a series of mindset and breath practices to help you overcome old fearful thought patterns that are unnecessarily holding you down.
After that, we did an empowering exercise to help you design boundaries around your glow… so you don’t let that fear stop you from expanding into your next Beyond.
Look for the class themed SAFETY on Breath page.
And of course, if you want personal guidance through your past safety breaches or current fears, reach out to me through the contact form to do a consultation call about one-on-one trauma resolution work…
Fears may be high out there, but there are things you can do to create security. You can choose to give it to yourself.
You can choose to grow and glow.
Ps. If you want to receive notes and news and join upcoming free online classes from me, be sure you’re subscribed to Ariel’s List