It’s a pale yellow morning in Los Angeles.
A crow flies low over the rooftops. I rub my eyes. The tan beard of the neighboring palm tree hangs heavy and still. No wind today.
Out there across the state of California fires are blazing.
But not here. Here it is quiet and the air is clear.
Usually in late summer I go back to my home state of Vermont for a while.
In August Vermont shines like an emerald.
It’s green and lush and fireflies glitter the dusk. The countryside is swollen with fragrant vegetation… making the simple act of breathing a joy.
My family collects there in August.
This year, my mom took a break from NYC and went up to Charlotte for a few weeks, staying in a living-room-like tent my uncle erected for her on my grandparents’ land. The tent was originally for quarantine but she came to love the feeling of living outdoors.
My sister, her hubby and nieces rented a house in Stowe – the town where my dad grew up. She was trail-running through the woods and taking the kids to the playground we used to go to with my grandma as little girls.
My brother is there too, living with his wife far north near the Canadian border, and their three-year-old firecracker of a daughter that he takes “off-roading” in her own miniature car with a battery-powered engine.
My father is flipping pancakes and making music in the little house with the big lawn in Winooski where he lives with my stepmom.
My childhood best friend Christyn, and my goddaughter Sage are tending the garden, walking in the woods and swimming in a great big pond in Cabot (yes, the homeland of cheddar cheese).
Usually I make my way up there for a couple of weeks in August. Usually I’m a part of all that.
But, as for so many of us, this year is different.
Instead I’m out west finding plants to fill my bright LA apartment. I’m sitting under a beach umbrella by the ocean with the new boyfriend. I’m immersed in books and talks about trauma resolution.
And today, I’m thinking about one big overarching topic that I wish you would claim as your own: Consistency.
The incomparable power of consistency.
We seem to have built up a one-off world. One and done! That’s what so many are seeking. Especially when it comes to healing.
But how does lasting positive change happen? Through consistency.
True change – fundamental healing – happens when we weave something new into the fabric of our lives. It happens when we show up again and again and again.
We show up on hard days and easy days. We show up in all kinds of moods, and all sorts of weather.
How is a secure, healthy relationship built? Consistent kind effort.
How is a strong body built? Consistently lifting heavy stuff.
How are your patterns of pain/tension/fear transformed? Through consistently working with them.
Sometimes people ask me, “If I work with you, how soon can I get over X trauma? When will it be gone?”
The answer will be revealed through consistently showing up. Each week you will see change, and one day you’ll realize that you are living in a very different body.
When will that happen? A month, three months, six months?
Don’t put your attention there.
Put your attention on consistently showing up and you will notice that gradual shifts are landmark revelations. You will revel in how good it feels to not try to one-and-done your wellbeing.
I have a coach. I have a somatic therapist. I have a morning practice. I have evening rituals. This is how my body thrives. This is how I keep evolving.
I don’t expect to ‘fix’ myself in a weekend workshop.
The consistent effort IS the joy. It’s the joy of knowing I have the support to evolve, not hoping that this one latest thing I try will ‘do the trick’.
That’s all for today.
Wishing you and your loved ones consistent support for health and wellbeing…
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