How to Access Confidence You Didn’t Think You Had

Genuine confidence feels amazing.  

It feels so good to walk into a room believing in yourself – in your significance and validity as a human. 

There’s this sense of coherence – of all parts of you working in harmony, of being WHOLE as opposed to fragmented. 

Healthy confidence isn’t arrogance. Quite the opposite. When you feel confident in yourself you’re less self-obsessed. 

You’re able to look around and really see and respond to other people. 

You can be with people as opposed to just being fixated on yourself – obsessing whether you’re okay or not. 

Furthermore, when you’re confident you put others at ease. They don’t tend to doubt or question your choices for yourself. The confidence you convey turns your choices into simple facts, as opposed to points that are up for negotiation. 

Leading and teaching so many women over the years, I have noticed a general gap in their confidence as opposed to their male counter-parts. 

Many women I have worked with tend to defer authority around body choices to others: Doctors, spouses, therapists, teachers, the loud guy they’ve never met in the corner of the room… 

Many women do what they are told without stopping to ask themselves if it’s what they want to do.  

The threat of rejection or condemnation is stronger than the inner confidence to stick with their truth. 

We also cannot deny the subconscious awareness of other places in the world where women are legally physically punished or even executed for asserting a personal boundary… just because there is an ocean between us, doesn’t mean that threat doesn’t affect us as well. 

Some women try to convince themselves that they’re making their own choice, but ever-growing physical symptoms such as anxiety, illness, uncontrollable addictions, or even patterns of accident and injury tell a different story. 

This is not easy to change! 

As women, we are immersed in a society that sews doubt about our own inner authority from the beginning. 

The lucky ones are raised by caregivers who do not pass down the ‘ways of the world’ but instead create a forcefield of safety, buffering those outer messages, and instead teaching their girls how to listen to and trust themselves – even when it goes against the norm. 

When I am working with a woman and I feel her passing her power on to me, I am saddened and angered. 

Not toward her – but toward this world that has not given her a healthy environment to grow and nourish her own self-trust… her own confidence. 

This shows up in her actions but also in her body: subtly slumped shoulders, eyes regularly turning down or away, and an overall intangible “smallness” to her physicality – as though she has energetically shrunken herself.  

It is part of my mission to offer an environment and the practices that can transform this diminished stance. 

As such, this July in my mindful movement program the theme is Beautiful Posture – but not just for anatomical reasons. 

The entire month is devoted to both the physicality and energetics of ‘standing tall’ and ‘standing up for yourself’. It’s not just healthier for your body – it’s actually BEAUTIFUL to walk through this life with confidence in who you are. 

Confidence is the assurance that you are exactly who you should be, you have a right to be here, you have the right to take up space

Your life, your perspective, your choices are yours. And YOU, just as you are (not because of what you do for others!) have meaning. 

So you see, Beautiful Posture ain’t small beans! It’s big beans. 

And it starts right here, right now, in your body:

  • Inhabiting yourself from within through the breath.
  • Strengthening your muscles to support yourself being physically upright.
  • Developing suppleness and flexibility to move, reach, and pivot as you wish (instead of staying stiff or frozen).

From EMBODIED member Claudia P: 

“My mind/body/life now crave this [practice] as a way to stay centered and open to all the wonder the world has to offer. Not to mention the physical strength I have acquired as a 51-year-old woman.

“Ariel brings such joy, intelligence, and pure positive vibes to a practice that constantly changes and surprises me. Her acute sense of self provides a safe and supportive space to play and experiment with your body.”

Step into Beautiful Posture month with our wonderful community and you’re training a brand new possibility for confidence in yourself. 

The time is now. 

Sign up HERE to get your first week free. We start Monday…

Ps. Plus here’s a video on the topic if you want to learn more 🙂



Sometimes wishes do come true…

Ariel Kiley - creator of Lady Quest Coaching Program

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